The fact this website exists continues to break my heart. It was orphan Sunday at my church again and it reminded me of orphan Sunday last year when I was pursuing foster care and decided to investigate adopting a child.
A year later, I have been denied as a foster or adoptive parent because of my felony and my heart breaks as I still see the girl, I hoped to adopt waiting for a family. I have continued to pray for her since my adoption application was turned down this summer. I kept hoping I will see her disappear from the website, an indication that she has a family, but it still has not happened. While I know I am far from perfect, I still feel like my home would be better than the situation she is currently in and it breaks my heart to be powerless. But these are moments I must trust that God is bigger and know things that I do not know. I must rest is his plans and trust what God has in store, both for me and for her.
My pastor kindly gave me warning that today was orphan Sunday and so I was not blindsided as I went in and heard him plead for people in the church to get involved in foster care and adoption. It made me feel a bit powerless as I am not able to pursue the paths of adoption and foster care that are so easily accessible to others, but I know that God is opening different doors and preparing my home for different situations. God will not waste the experiences he has led me through. I try to set aside my ideas of what his plans should look like and be open to what he has in store! I am grateful and blessed even when I do not always understand.